I'm Fine
Yes, laydeez and fellas (notice my 'cool-speak' there? Rubbish, wasn't it?), it's that time again. The time where I share the pain of my lonely free time with you and bring you ALL down to my level. Yes, it's... Ian's Useless Movie Review #2!
Find a hat and hold on to it... etc, cliche, cliche... because this week I'm throwing a twist in the formula and reviewing a good(ish) film! This week's review:
To set the tone straight away, I personally don't feel writer/director Cameron Crowe - no, not the one that made Titanic, that one's got a beard - has made a bad film yet. Some are incredible ('Almost Famous', 'Jerry Maguire', 'Say Anything'), others are just great ('Singles', 'Vanilla Sky'). The guy knows how to frame a... well, frame, and is among the best at capturing the tiniest little human details in relationships. He is also a writer that has no business being as good as he is. How can a kid that started writing for Rolling Stone and touring the world with bands when he was 15 be so good? I think I just answered my own question - namely, experience. In fact, I challenge anyone to watch a Cameron Crowe film and not find one character/situation they can relate to.
The core of this film is about loss; a cocky young executive learns his new design for a sports shoe (the hilariously named 'Spasmodia') has bankrupt the company he works for, and is ruined. So he decides to kill himself, and thusly ensues the most humorous (and intentionally so) suicide set-up scene ever committed to film. However, he then gets a phone call that his father has died and he needs to travel to a small town in Kentucky to collect the body and return it home.
So our executive (Orlando Bloom - actually really good when I thought he'd be shit) gets a plane home and meets quirky stewardess Clare (Kirsten Dunst - actually really shit when I thought she'd be good). She's blonde and quirky, he's dark and quirky, so they love each other in about 5.3 seconds, although obviously neither of them can know this until one hour forty-five minutes into the film otherwise there'd be no point.
Once he's arrived in Elizabethtown (yes, it's a really real place) he meets small town folk and learns a lot about himself. This sounds like it should be cheese incarnate, but as this is a Cameron Crowe film there's a different feel to it. Yes, he learns values and what's important etc, but he's still planning to kill himself once he leaves. He loves Clare but knows there's no point, he's treated as a hero upon returning home for all his success but knows that in less than a week everyone will know he's buried a company that supplies aid to third-world countries. And all the while his mother (a loopy-as-you-like Susan Sarandon) is coping with her husband's death by learning to cook/fix cars/tap dance and generally going bonkers!
This is the part where I step into unknown territory and actually defend Orlando Bloom. We all know he's a pretty boy with limited talent. Sure, he's great in those pirate memory films, but then all he has to do in them is look pretty, which he does admirably. Besides, with Johnny in the films no one really pays much attention to him. But I was genuinely shocked to find his performance here to be raw, emotional and actually funny (the American accent could be better but it's passable). Again, I think this is down to Cameron Crowe, the only director in history to make us empaphise with Tom Cruise, but my hat is well and truly off to Orly. Good job, sir!
Kirsten Dunst is blonde in her performance, as anyone who's seen the Spider-man films can tell you (except she's got red hair in those, but you know what I mean), and manages to mysteriously lose her southern accent roughly halfway through the film. Which is just careless, if you ask me. Susan Sarandon is quite frankly ker-azee, which is all the criteria I need to award full marks, and the always excellent Judy Greer is... well, excellent (if not quite given enough to do. And if your heart isn't warmed by a scene involving tap-dancing to 'Freebird' then, being perfectly honest, you're probably dead!
Being a Cameron Crowe film, the soundtrack is fantastic, if a touch predictable. If you've seen any of his previous films you'll know what to expect: Tom Petty? Check! 70's Elton John? Check! And this is where I remove a crab rating, as the last half hour becomes nothing more than an over-long music video/montage thingy. It's trying to make a point, and does include some of Orly's best work, but it gets completely lost in its overly-nuanced, heavy-handed sentimentalism.
Having written such a big word as that, I now feel light-headed and must wrap up this review so I can lie down for a bit. A sometimes ace film with some bad bits.
3.8 crabs out of 5
Find a hat and hold on to it... etc, cliche, cliche... because this week I'm throwing a twist in the formula and reviewing a good(ish) film! This week's review:
'ELIZABETHTOWN'
To set the tone straight away, I personally don't feel writer/director Cameron Crowe - no, not the one that made Titanic, that one's got a beard - has made a bad film yet. Some are incredible ('Almost Famous', 'Jerry Maguire', 'Say Anything'), others are just great ('Singles', 'Vanilla Sky'). The guy knows how to frame a... well, frame, and is among the best at capturing the tiniest little human details in relationships. He is also a writer that has no business being as good as he is. How can a kid that started writing for Rolling Stone and touring the world with bands when he was 15 be so good? I think I just answered my own question - namely, experience. In fact, I challenge anyone to watch a Cameron Crowe film and not find one character/situation they can relate to.
The core of this film is about loss; a cocky young executive learns his new design for a sports shoe (the hilariously named 'Spasmodia') has bankrupt the company he works for, and is ruined. So he decides to kill himself, and thusly ensues the most humorous (and intentionally so) suicide set-up scene ever committed to film. However, he then gets a phone call that his father has died and he needs to travel to a small town in Kentucky to collect the body and return it home.
So our executive (Orlando Bloom - actually really good when I thought he'd be shit) gets a plane home and meets quirky stewardess Clare (Kirsten Dunst - actually really shit when I thought she'd be good). She's blonde and quirky, he's dark and quirky, so they love each other in about 5.3 seconds, although obviously neither of them can know this until one hour forty-five minutes into the film otherwise there'd be no point.
Once he's arrived in Elizabethtown (yes, it's a really real place) he meets small town folk and learns a lot about himself. This sounds like it should be cheese incarnate, but as this is a Cameron Crowe film there's a different feel to it. Yes, he learns values and what's important etc, but he's still planning to kill himself once he leaves. He loves Clare but knows there's no point, he's treated as a hero upon returning home for all his success but knows that in less than a week everyone will know he's buried a company that supplies aid to third-world countries. And all the while his mother (a loopy-as-you-like Susan Sarandon) is coping with her husband's death by learning to cook/fix cars/tap dance and generally going bonkers!
This is the part where I step into unknown territory and actually defend Orlando Bloom. We all know he's a pretty boy with limited talent. Sure, he's great in those pirate memory films, but then all he has to do in them is look pretty, which he does admirably. Besides, with Johnny in the films no one really pays much attention to him. But I was genuinely shocked to find his performance here to be raw, emotional and actually funny (the American accent could be better but it's passable). Again, I think this is down to Cameron Crowe, the only director in history to make us empaphise with Tom Cruise, but my hat is well and truly off to Orly. Good job, sir!
Kirsten Dunst is blonde in her performance, as anyone who's seen the Spider-man films can tell you (except she's got red hair in those, but you know what I mean), and manages to mysteriously lose her southern accent roughly halfway through the film. Which is just careless, if you ask me. Susan Sarandon is quite frankly ker-azee, which is all the criteria I need to award full marks, and the always excellent Judy Greer is... well, excellent (if not quite given enough to do. And if your heart isn't warmed by a scene involving tap-dancing to 'Freebird' then, being perfectly honest, you're probably dead!
Being a Cameron Crowe film, the soundtrack is fantastic, if a touch predictable. If you've seen any of his previous films you'll know what to expect: Tom Petty? Check! 70's Elton John? Check! And this is where I remove a crab rating, as the last half hour becomes nothing more than an over-long music video/montage thingy. It's trying to make a point, and does include some of Orly's best work, but it gets completely lost in its overly-nuanced, heavy-handed sentimentalism.
Having written such a big word as that, I now feel light-headed and must wrap up this review so I can lie down for a bit. A sometimes ace film with some bad bits.
3.8 crabs out of 5
posted by AlphIANo at 7:50 PM
2 Comments:
ooh, the crab system involves decimal points, it's more complicated than I thought!
More crabs for yer money!
Nice reviewing, the 'bo!
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