Boozy Heroes

With the coming of that pesky darn bunny and all his cholesterol-inducing chocolate came the first sign of nice weather in aaaages! The sun was shining, the sky was cloudless, and it was a bank holiday weekend to boot! You can imagine how much fun that was.

NONE! As I, like my two colleagues, spent all this glorious weather inside, serving other people with booze as they prepare for their oh-so-fun barbecues/piss-ups down the pub! And if I had a quid for every time a selfish punter would wander into our dankly-lit booze emporium from the burning mid-day sunshine and proclaim with far too much glee "Isn't it a lovely day?", I would have... well, almost enough to buy a Colonial Military outfit from eBay.

Do people have no sense? You've been outside, you walk into your local offy, and THEN ask the staff what a lovely day it is? We're INSIDE, you stupid wench! Can you not see that?! We can vaguely see the nice day from our glass and brick prison, but we cannot experience it. Must you torture us so?!

Luckily for me, our bunch is of the night variety. And hardened boozers. While you - yes, you - the selfish wench, are waning at 8pm from being in the sun all day my lot are just getting going at midnight! Yes, it's like school all over again, and this time WE'RE the cool kids! We're mega, we're skill, we're ace - you're just asleep! In your face!