Albums Of The Year: No. 5

THE CRIMEA - 'Secrets Of The Witching Hour'

Most of you are probably going "The Crimea? Who?" right about now. So was I a few months ago, until I was listening to my Charlie-appointed lookey-likey Colin Murray and heard a track from this album. Instantly, a wave of "ooh!" swept over me, and I had to know more about this band. It was then that Colin informed me the album was available to download free from their website... Free!!!

Yes, in a Radiohead-like move (although The Crimea technically did it first), after being dropped by their label the band decided to put the whole of their new album for free download on their site, saying they'd upload a new version of the album once 60,000 people downloaded it. At last count, it had 69,000 downloads, and it got them tour slots with Regina Spektor, Ash and a new deal. Along with Radiohead's tomfoolery, this means: Bands - 2, Record Industry - 0. Ha ha!

Anyway, this album blew me away with it's almost inexplicable mix of being hearteningly familiar and also unlike anything I've heard before. Fleeting between jingly-jangly guitar pop, piano loveliness, uplifting anthems and decidedly sinister lyrics faster than Britney Spears gets through husbands (PREDICTABLE POP-CULTURE JOKE ALERT!), and yet somehow it all feels right.

Opening track 'Several Thousand Years Of Nonsense' opens with the singer giving thanks - "for Ben & Jerry's ice cream, for the one woman in a thousand who's got a thing about guys with missing front teeth" - and right away we know we're in loopy land! 'All Conquering' tells of the idea that everyone should try and take over the world at some point in their life, at least once. 'Bombay Sapphire Coma' is the closest thing to a traditional ballad, and it sounds lovely, until you realise that those glorious backing vocals are singing the words "it's a beautiful way to die" over and over.

If there was ever a kid's TV show made about drug binges and starring The Tweenies, 'Loop A Loop' would be the theme tune! They just might have to cut out the middle bit where he sings "throw another small child on the fire" while the backing vocals moan behind him like Merlin having a huge shit. But the album stand-out is 'Don't Close Your Eyes On Me'; a gorgeous, dream-like piece of music that sums up the album perfectly by being both inviting and absolutely chilling. I know I've pushed it a little with the hyperbole in this entry, but if snowflakes made noises, it'd be this song.

Of course, before letting things get a little too normal or pretty, the band quickly remind us who we're listening too by getting all weird again on closing track 'Weird'. It starts with the line "pterodactyls chasing down helicopter gunships" and ends with a rousing chant of "to the bastard that made us all". An absolute gem of an album, and welcome surprise of a find.