Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Rana Segreta

So, 2 things caught my eye today. And as a dutiful blogger, not wishing to overload you in one enthusiastic barrage, I'll split them into sections. You're welcome!

New Earth!
No, not the title of a Doctor Who episode (actually, yes it is), but so much more. We've found a new planet! One just like ours! Well, not quite like ours. So far the similarities are that it's got gravity, water and rock. Which makes it, as Eddie Izzard so eloquently once put it, the most boring planet in the world. It doesn't even have humans or monsters to construct a massive civilisation and fuck the planet up! Rubbish!

Monster Hornets!
This (as far as I know) really isn't the title of a Doctor Who episode. But it should be. There was a telly on the telly about Gigantic Hornets in Japan. They're monstrous, they can kill a person with a sting! And they eat bees! Where exactly, in the name of James Tiberious Kirk, is the logic in that? Bees are nice - they leave you alone mostly, make honey and pollinate things, which as far as I gather is pretty crucial to the working of the world! Hornets? Nasty fuckers, attack and sting anything that moves and serve NO purpose in this world whatsoever. Plus, a new survey suggests that due to climate changes and lack of population it's possible bees will be extinct as soon as 4 years from now. This will not just mean a lack of honey, but a fundamental change in how we humans exist. No more pollination of food or plants.


Thursday, April 19, 2007

Sneezles & Wheezles

Despite my (admittedly sarcastic) joy at the emergence of the sun recently, a sad fact has now dawned on me. I love it when we find ourselves on the cusp of summer, with lighter evenings, glorious sunshine and beer garden visits aplenty. But, once this initial euphoria subsides, a couple of conundrums occupy my brain-like appendage.

Firstly, I will soon be held deep in the throws of hay fever. I never had hay fever as a child, or anytime in fact until 2 years ago when it gripped me in its mucus fist and demanded that I was breathing far too easily and by Hades it was going to do something about that! Strangely, this is roughly the same time that I acquired my oh-so-lovely skin condition, which leads me to believe that nature is nothing more than a practical joker. "You shall be happy and cheery, my lad, but you shall also look hideous, be full of phlegm and unable to respirate properly" it screams as it looms over my slimy, wheezey visage.

Secondly, and this one actually bothers me more (which says a lot about my priorities), now that summer is in full-on approach mode, we are mere weeks aways from the musical dry season. Yes, dear bloggies, after an incredibly strong start to the year in the world of music (Arcade Fire, Bloc Party, LCD, Shins, Klaxons, Gruff Rhys - I'm looking at you!) we are on the verge of being subjected to a barrage of shit that comes second only to Xmas' 'best of' period. Only two things give me hope; Tom McRae and Matthew Good's forthcoming new albums. Both are due in the midst of summer and both, ironically, were delayed and should have been out ages ago. But rest assured, they will be your salvation in the coming months of shitty dance, pop diarrhea and novelty discharge.

If that doesn't work then just stay in and watch 'Drive' instead. Trust me, it's mega!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Boozy Heroes

With the coming of that pesky darn bunny and all his cholesterol-inducing chocolate came the first sign of nice weather in aaaages! The sun was shining, the sky was cloudless, and it was a bank holiday weekend to boot! You can imagine how much fun that was.

NONE! As I, like my two colleagues, spent all this glorious weather inside, serving other people with booze as they prepare for their oh-so-fun barbecues/piss-ups down the pub! And if I had a quid for every time a selfish punter would wander into our dankly-lit booze emporium from the burning mid-day sunshine and proclaim with far too much glee "Isn't it a lovely day?", I would have... well, almost enough to buy a Colonial Military outfit from eBay.

Do people have no sense? You've been outside, you walk into your local offy, and THEN ask the staff what a lovely day it is? We're INSIDE, you stupid wench! Can you not see that?! We can vaguely see the nice day from our glass and brick prison, but we cannot experience it. Must you torture us so?!

Luckily for me, our bunch is of the night variety. And hardened boozers. While you - yes, you - the selfish wench, are waning at 8pm from being in the sun all day my lot are just getting going at midnight! Yes, it's like school all over again, and this time WE'RE the cool kids! We're mega, we're skill, we're ace - you're just asleep! In your face!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A Single Explosion

Yesterday something momentous happened to me. I heard a new song from Matthew Good's forthcoming album 'Hospital Music'. Before I go any further I should explain that this man is my songwriting god, therefore making this entire blog objective, and I don't expect anyone to be interested.

I liked it at first but even I can admit it's a grower. And so, after about a thousand listens, I am now in love with the song. Musically it takes a while to take hold but when it does... wowsers! Lyrically it's possibly the most powerful thing I've heard in years. So much so that it's made me re-think all the potential lyrics I've written for Alphino's next album.

Myself and James have spoken many times about our next album endeavour (although the 1st album 'Lens Flare' is out now and it's marvellous - buy it here), and the general opinion is to do something as different as possible. When talking about lyrics I voiced my concern that I haven't really had enough life experiences since the last album to write more personal lyrics (unless I write 15 sets of lyrics about going to work/the pub), so it seemed a good idea to make the next album a collection of stories.

And now, after having heard this new Matthew Good song, everything I've written so far just seems so redundant. Having only a rough idea of what inspired this track all I can do is simply hold my hands up and wave the white flag. I have nothing. This song has slayed me.

If you're interested the song is called 'A Simple Explosion' and can be found here (you'll need to register to hear it but it's free and quick - and unbelievably worth it).